The #droptheplus debacle reared its head briefly again on Twitter and now my eyes have stopped rolling so much to focus on my laptop screen I’ll pen some thoughts.
My most prominent issue with this is that this campaign is being spearheaded by a person who can comfortably shop in most stores, both plus size and non-plus size. Therefore the outcome of this campaign wouldn’t affect them in the way it would someone like myself, a size 26 whose option are vastly more limited in comparison to other smaller fats. Not even taking into consideration that stores that carry my preferred style of clothing that also carry my size are limited to TWO stores and even then I don’t have access to their full selection of wares, I have an overall limited base of around an additional 3 stores within budget. Two of which have brick and mortar stores, one of those has just pulled the majority of their plus size range out of stores.
A rare plus size in-store section near you
If brands dropped their plus size labelling I would be forced to scroll through pages and pages of clothes that were not available to me, but I would only find that out after actively searching the size options for a particular item. Time consuming, utterly demoralising, and heart-breaking.
That’s the practical side of things. Then there’s the overall issue with dropping the term as a concept. The only reason any one would have to want to drop the plus size is if there was some shame in being plus size. As a fat person I resent having someone who has privilege over me deciding how brands should make my shopping experience. Our experiences, as a size 16 and a 26, differ vastly, and this campaign merely seeks to make my life, and the lives other fat people, that much harder.
What we need to be focusing our efforts on is removing the stigma associated with the term plus size. Labels (in this instance) are only as bad as the stigma attached to them. Plus size, for me, is a way to cut out trawling through websites that don’t care to cater for me. It’s a means of me finding media with bodies that represent mine, their experiences similar to mine. It’s a means of finding community.
Breaking that stigma, fighting for fat people to be treated and catered for equally, is where the effort should be. Not pandering to people who don’t represent fat people in the first place. The only way this ill-thought campaign would actually work is if they got all brands to cater for all sizes, and priced them equally. Until then all you are doing is making plus size people feel more unwanted than ever before.
As much as I love colour and patterns I’m also a really big fan of simplicity. Having bright hair and tattoos can sometimes be all the accessorising I need for an outfit.
I love this capsule skater dress from Simply Be because it’s such a classic LBD and it’s so easy to dress up or down. I’m also a big fan of the skater dress as a larger fat because it’s an easy look to create.
Having long sleeves this is probably going to be best worn in the coming cooler months but the material is really light and comfortable so I don’t feel too weighed down. A heads up: the dress came up really short on me, I’m about 5″4 but I’m all belly, so I’d say maybe some leggings or just bare you chub rub shorts if you’re feeling saucy.
As I said you can dress this up or down. Here I teamed it with this amazing jacket, also from Simply Be, for a casual rockabilly look.
I completed the look with some adorable polka dot pumps from Asda but you could just as easily wear some Converse, or some Dr Martens. Or something with a bit of a heel and some fancy accessories for a more ‘evening’ look. It’s super versatile.
I’ve been part of the alt-scene since I was about 14 years old. I haven’t seen my natural blonde hair since I was 15. I got my first piercing at 16, much to my parents disdain, and my first tattoo at 18.
It’s a phase, you’ll grow out of it.
I turned 30 this month and it seems I’m still waiting to grow out of it.
Being a mosher in school caught me a lot of grief from bullies. My friends and I were often threatened or teased. Once I was followed from town to a friends house and had stones thrown at me the whole time.
During the 90’s there was a huge divide between ‘moshers’ and ‘chavs’, and the tension was often dangerous and in some instances fatal, like the tragic case of Sophie Lancaster. Sophie and her boyfriend were attacked by a mob of people in a park simply for being goths. As Sophie protected her unconscious boyfriend she was repeatedly kicked and stomped on the head, causing her to fall into a coma from which she never recovered.
As with everything trends and cultures shift with more ‘alt’ fashions and music becoming more commonplace. Remember a couple of years ago when you could buy cross covered goth stuff in New Look?
However, just because something is more commonplace doesn’t mean that its wholly accepted. Tattoos are more popular than ever but you’ll still struggle to find work with visible ones and hooooboy do people like to tell you how they feel about them.
Women in the subculture have always been subject to derision by the masculine gatekeepers of extreme music and the tattoo subculture. It seems implausible that women would attend gigs because they enjoy the music and must surely be there either a) because their boyfriend is there or b) they are looking for a bloke.
Like most of our culture it is dominated by men: film, music, sports to name a few. When women are seen participating it must be under mitigating circumstances and always open for criticism. The alt-scene is no haven from this, despite what some might lead you to believe. A friend of mine published an article calling for an end to the accepted rape culture and brutalisation fantasy within extreme music. She received a number of rape and death threats for it.
Women are often mocked for their tattoo choices, with such ludicrous phrases like “tramp stamp” used to humiliate, with nothing said for the poor choices of their male counterparts. Woman in tattooing have to work extremely hard to be taken seriously.
This is nothing new to me. Growing up within this subculture I saw the roiling misogyny that continues to plague it. But what I have noticed is, with the popularity of tattooing on the rise, the still evident pervasive attitudes towards people with tattoos, and specifically towards women, outside of the subculture.
An example of this recently was some vitriolic comments aimed at model Georgina Cox of FullerFigureFullerBust. Posing in a bikini on Lilly and Lime’s Facebook, Georgina was subjected to rude comments about her body and her tattoos, and when trying to defend herself was accused of being rude. The hypocrisy. Another example is a Facebook group I follow dedicated to vintage style I’ve seen instances of ladies sharing outfit photos only to have people’s rude comments about their tattoos because it doesn’t fully fit into the twee vintage aesthetic and also people have some really outdated and toxic assumptions about the type of people who get tattoos.
We seem to be caught in this limbo of tattoos becoming more mainstream and still subject to moral criticism from previous generations where it was more taboo.
It’s just another means to view women as public property and to pass our opinion and make decisions about their bodies that in no way affects or involves us. Topless photos of David Beckham covered in tattoos wouldn’t get anywhere near the same level of nasty comments as the incidents I mentioned previously. People feel so entitled to their opinions, to women’s bodies for consumption, that they feel so affronted when they don’t fit the idea they had in their minds.
If you don’t like tattoos, don’t get one. People with tattoos don’t care, or make assumptions, about people that don’t have them.
These kinds of incidents are not just shaming, they’re misogyny at work. You have no right to tell a woman her choices are disgusting when they affect no one so take a seat.
If you’re like me and you struggle to relax at night, or you feel anxious at times, this post might help you. I can’t say for certain but I know that it’s something that has helped me in recent times.
I often feel like I don’t accomplish enough in the day, and I feel almost like a sense of guilt in that, then my mind races and plans things. It’s like I struggle to let the day go and worry about what the following day may bring. I often need a kind of distraction, and when I was single and living alone I would often fall asleep listening to music.
I recently discovered ASMR, or rather I found out the name for what I felt, recently from a friend on Facebook. She shared a video and out of sheer curiosity I watched it and found it really helped me to relax and even fall asleep. Looking into more videos I became pretty hooked. I found some that I didn’t enjoy and some that I watched again and again.
What is ASMR?
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. According to Wikipedia: “It signifies the subjective experience of ‘low-grade euphoria’ characterised by ‘a combination of positive feelings, relaxation, and a distinct static-like tingling on the skin‘ (wiki)”
What is ASMR? by GentleWhispering
Knowing now what I do I think my first proper “tinglehead” moment was watching a hair treatment video when I was researching the brand I use. At the time my hair was in a right state and was having regular treatments to help repair it . I could imagine how it felt having hands gently massaging my scalp, the gentle warm water running over my hair, and for some reason watching the video helped me recall those feelings and I found it immensely relaxing.
I’ve been exploring ASMR videos on YouTube, finding my ‘triggers’, finding out there are some things I don’t like. I’ve realised how much I tap my nails on things when I pick them up, how much attention I paid on the way other people handle things with their hands, realising how much I truly benefit from gentle stroking on my back to help me sleep.
Discovering these videos, this community, in such a short time has been so helpful in getting me to relax. It’s an opportunity to remove myself from everything for a little while as it often requires me to watch and listen, as some triggers are visual as well as aural.
These are a couple of my current favourites. I find Ally’s voice so lovely and soothing.
Whipped Sleepytime Rub DIY ASMR by ASMRrequests
The Herb Shoppe Binaural ASMR role play by ASMRrequests
ASMR videos really can be anything. Some are role play, as demonstrated above, some are literally just someone sitting and making sounds. The possibilities are endless and it’s interesting discovering what your ‘triggers’ are.
Life can be really hectic and shit sometimes and I think anything that helps you relax and feel good is worthwhile, no matter how bizarre or silly it might initially seem. I guess, for me, it’s been a really effective form of self care, and knowing that there are people out there who feel the same way, kinda makes it really nice too.
It’s the big Three-Oh for me on July 4th. I’ve already been treated to a wonderful week away in Gower, and my mum is coming to visit me for a week. My first visitor since I moved down here! I’m also looking forward to it because I haven’t seen my mum in over a year because the last time I went home for a visit the floods had destroyed the road so I couldn’t get to her.
Birthdays usually entail gifts so here’s a little birthday wishlist of stuff I’ve been fawning over.
My lovely partner surprised me with an early birthday holiday to South Wales last week. Pennard, in the Gower Peninsula. to be exact Now we’re back and coming to terms with not having a beautiful beach as our back garden.
Our view from the cottage.
Don’t be fooled by the lovely photo, the weather was pretty horrendous at times. I was woefully under prepared for the muggy weather and torrential rain that befell us pretty much everyday. Thankfully it only ever last a couple of hours at a time before it was gloriously sunny again so we were able to salvage something.
On one such miserable, then suddenly warm and sunny, returning to miserable kind of day we drove down to Swansea to do some shopping. To my delight I found they had a Yours store. I popped in out of the rain and found it stocked with so much lovely stuff! The staff were friendly and super helpful. To my surprise they had a selection of jackets and I picked out this lovely Red Cotton Parka.
At £39 it was more within my budget than some of the more waterproof ones they had. I’ve wanted a light jacket like this for so long and I’m so excited to finally have one. Living in the Lake District this would have come in very handy but better late than never! While it isn’t waterproof, probably best for a light shower at best, it is a really decent windbreaker. We spend the morning at Rhossili beach doing the cliff walk and it was very sunny but super windy. Being so lightweight meant I wasn’t sweating but also snug from the wind.
Rhossili Bay: legit amazing
It has some super cute striped lining in the hood and on the shoulders, which gives it a kind of nautical feel too. Most of the photos were taken at sunset but the red is lovely and vivid. The fit is great, there’s actually room around my tummy and the arms are not super long which is unheard of. It’s really soft too! Super pleased with my purchase!
Have you made an unexpected, but awesome, purchases lately?
Welcome to another blog sale, folks! Thank you for coming to check me out. Apologies for the creased stuff, it’s been in a box while I’ve been decorating but will be washed and ironed before being sent out.
ALL ITEMS ARE £5 UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE!
All items are posted 2nd class recorded at £4, except for hair accessories, these will be posted 2nd class at £1.
Please state if you would like it sent differently. I’m more than happy to combine shipping but prices are based on weight so let me know and prices will be amended accordingly.
PayPal only please. Money to be sent to email@example.com
*please note while items are on a first come, first serve I will be sharing this over my social media so items might not be available but not yet stated on the post*
George Asda Polka Dot dress with sheer detail.
George Asda green sheer blouse
New Look Inspire bird print dress (bought on a blog sale but didn’t suit me)
Peacocks flamingo print shirt (men’s)
Green pencil skirt bought on eBay so not 100% sure on sizing. Was listed as a 26. Item has a good stretch to it.
Measurements flat are:
Chicstar pencil skirt with button detail
South tropical print mini skirt nwt
Size 24 SOLD
Something Sacred long sleeve (men’s)
New Look Inspire velour skater skirt with gold glitter detail
Evans green chiffon dress
New Look Inspire skater skirt with elasticated waist
Dickies men’s T-shirt
Chain approx: 92/22cm
Moustache Polka Dot hair clip £1
Owl print head scarf £1
Pamela Mann suspender tights
Size 28/32 (would recommend more for a 24 or below)
I’ve been trying to incorporate more black back into my wardrobe, a sentiment my 15-year old self would have found baffling that black were lacking in any way. More casual staples that I can pair up with other things. I need to make my wardrobe reflect the laziness that is my daily life.
Yours Clothing has been putting out some great pieces and my wishlist keeps growing.
I’ve always fancied a pinafore but there’s never really been much going in my size, that wasn’t blue denim at least, until now. I was trying to choose between two dresses at the time and when I sent the links to my partner, this was their choice. Although to be honest I’l probably get the other one as well, ha!
I like it, but it’s taking some getting used to. It’s hard to explain. I’m struggling to find anything to wear underneath it that I think goes really well. I do kinda feel a bit like an artisan baker in it sometimes. I dunno. It’s a work in progress. I think this is going to be better suited as a winter wardrobe piece, for me personally at least.
The material was heavier than I expected, but still soft and comfortable. I wore this to see Grimes and despite it being pretty packed and sweaty, as you’d imagine any Grimes gig to be, I was still really comfortable in it. It’s a little bit long for personal taste, but I can always hem it, so it’s great for taller folks who often have a lot of trouble finding stuff that isn’t cupping their bumcheeks.
One thing I was a little disappointed with was that after the first wear at the gig I noticed the material had already started bobbling underneath the armpits, which was disappointing for a dress at £26.
Overall I’m pretty pleased with it. It’s comfy, it’s cute, and you can work it with lots of things. ALSO POCKETS YASS.
After Christmas I kept my head down in terms of shopping, avoiding any internet browsing because I’ve been buying shit that is just too damn fancy (albeit gorgeous) and having no social life to wear any of it. I basically live in this limbo of work clothes and pajamas. With the spring sales it’s been a bit difficult to resist temptation, and for once I’ve been bulking up my casual wardrobe.
Yours Clothing have been putting out some fabulous pieces out lately and I’ve bought a couple of bits from them. I spotted this maxi tunic in my local store, but typically they had every size but mine! I figured I’d use the luxury of a changing room anyway and tried the next size down. A perfect fit! In fact they had my size in a different colour and I felt it was too baggy for me. Result!
Oh yeah my hairs back to red again too
The tunic has two large splits up the side and so I donned a pair of chub rub shorts for a little modesty! The fabric is a lovely, soft jersey. It felt lovely and cool and hangs so comfortably.
I gotta admit, I was feeling pretty fierce in this. I knew this outfit called for some serious boots. I picked these up in New Look after a lovely blogger breakfast, after being convinced by Sophie that as they were on sale I obviously would be a fool not to pick them up. How could I not heed such good advice?!
While I went for a slightly raunchier look here this tunic is just as cute dressed down. I wore this out for lunch with the fella with some leggings and an old pair of leopard print T.U.K creepers.
It’s such a blank canvas that you can dress it up or down.
HelloGiggle.com recently shared this photograph from selling website/app Wish, that were advertising a pair of plus size shorts:
As noted in the HG article this is an incredibly cruel way to advertise clothing. Naturally there’s been some uproar over social media. Christina, of Interrobang art, who makes and sells clothing up to a 34, posted this fantastic response on her Instagram account
But this isn’t the first time this sort of cruel marketing has been used. AliExpress were under scrutiny back in 2015 for using this image to sell plus size leggings
The Big Bloomers Company, a site dedicated to plus size underwear use this to advertise their plus size tights
Aye, you keep smiling it up Sally Small.
I don’t doubt there are many more, these are just the ones I was able to find first. So what’s the issue?
In laymans terms it’s disrespectful as fuck to use this sort of strategy to advertise plus size clothing.
The photos are utterly ridiculous, verging on comical and circus-esque. “Look how HUGE this product is! You can fit a whole other person with room to spare!”
And that’s the thing, isn’t it? We don’t see fat people as real people but rather bodies that can’t be comprehended without using “normal” bodies for scale. You want to advertise plus size clothing, and demonstrate how big your products are? USE ACTUAL FAT PEOPLE. Use a diverse range of sizes to demonstrate the variety of sizing you offer. “Here’s a body wearing a size 12, and here’s the same product in a 32.” It’s NOT HARD.
There are so many fat people out there who would offer their services. Look at how plus size brands have tapped into using bloggers to model for them. The sizes are out there: you just won’t use them.
Frankly I am sick of companies humiliating fat people and in the next breath taking our money. If they aren’t using micro-aggresive language like “flattering”, “slimming” and other such crap to suggest our fat can, and should, be magically hidden then they are outright removing us from their brick and mortar stores.
What is even the logic in this? Do they not think fat people are going to take one look at this and close the fucking tab? Bullying people does not a profit make. Too long have companies tapped into a person’s low self esteem to sell you a product you don’t need, for an imaginary issue you don’t even have. But people need clothes. What we don’t need is being made out to be circus freaks.