I wanted to write a really helpful post about how to deal with the anxiety that social eating can cause as a fat person, over the holiday period. I really did. But I’ve come to accept that my only advice is getting that shit shut down.
I had my works Christmas meal a couple of days ago and I noticed when the dessert arrived it was like the fox in the hen coop. Suddenly there was a bustle at the table of people clammering to share their desserts, they simply couldn’t eat it all, and Oh! I don’t think I want it now. Hmm maybe. No!
To the point where I simply banged my hands on the table and told them all to eat their fucking puddings, or don’t, and to stop making a big bloody deal. I’m here for the sole purpose of eating with these people. I don’t need to hear this crap.
I know that, certainly as an adult, I’ve been very lucky in that I haven’t had anyone policing the food I eat at these gatherings. I’m sure there was the questioning brow and derisive comment as a young child, but if there was I’ve simply forgotten. But I know I am lucky in that respect and that this is a very real issue for many fellow fats this Christmas.
I guess the purpose of this post was for me to reach out, and to say that you don’t deserve to have your choices questioned, your body made public property for all to comment on. I fully appreciate that it is difficult for a lot of people to challenge this, for a lot of reasons. But as long as you realise that you are beautiful, you are worthwhile, and that these people and their negativity can go sit on chair of up-turned plugs, you’ll be ok.
I’ve always used humour as a tool to deal with my fat-shamers. Outsmart them. Embaress them. See how they like it. Chances are they’ll feel like a big pile of..Christmas logs..when being shown up in front of a table full of people and they’ll be less likely to do it again.
If you have one particular member of the family who is a repeat offender you could always appeal to their human side and speak to them before the occasion. Let them know how you feel. Speak to them afterwards and have some positive discourse. It doesn’t always have to be bad!
If you have a flare for the dramatics, as I certainly do, you can always just dump your dinner on their plate and leave with the gateaux.
But ok, joking aside, and I know this is a garbled mess of a post, but I need to say it again
YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS CRAP SO DON’T TAKE IT. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S FAMILY IN FACT THEY SHOULD BE THE ONES CARING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS AND SUPPORTING YOU.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope that you have a great time and enjoy yourself.