You’d be hard pressed to open up a glossy magazine and not find an article about what you should and shouldn’t be wearing for your body type. I tried to look and see whether I was an apple, pear, banana, kiwi, pinepapple or whatever. Whatever I am, I’m a fat one, and you can be certain there is a lot of stuff I shouldn’t be wearing. So let’s take a look at some of the ‘rules’ and how I broke them.
1. Horizontal stripes.
I didn’t even need to look it up, it’s been so instilled in me since a teen that the dreaded horizontal stripe was going to have me mistaken for the HMS Elizabeth and I’d have canons fired at me.
2. Mini skirts.
This is kind of another given. Fatties can barely wear anything, if one lives by these rules, let alone something that’s going to show off your lower half. But here’s the thing, I wear a mini skirt basically everyday. Skirt/leggings/t-shirt combo is my work outfit of choice and more often than not it’ll be my day off choice too.
3. Bright colours.
So I have definitely missed this memo. In fact sometimes I struggle to ‘match’ things but because my wardrobe looks like a packet of fruit pastilles. With my rainbow hair came my rainbow wardrobe.
4. Bold patterns.
Wearing anything that’s going to draw even more attention to your body in general is a no-no for fatties. You don’t want to give people the wrong idea, you know? Like, the fact you are fat and someone might see *shrieks in horror*
5. Oversized/bulky/voluminous clothing.
“Don’t bulk around your bulk” The Stir
tells me. You don’t want to wear anything that makes you look big. Especially when you are big. Remember how your fat suddenly disappears under those magic clothes?
I particularly like this one because it’s breaking several rules at once. It’s oversized, super fluffy, and it’s a bright colour. There’s no way you can miss me in it and let’s face it, why would you want to? I look cute as hell in it.
The fact is fashion rules are created so bored journalists have something to write about. They want to create a hierachy so that you’ll always have a goal to try and reach. You’ll always be striving, buying into whatever shctick they are selling that week. You want to be like the beautiful fashion elite and wear those things you’ve longed to wear but you ~can’t~.
Here’s the scoop: there are no rules. None. Why are you letting complete strangers dictate what you can and can’t wear based on the fact it might make you look fat. I’M ALREADY FAT NER NER! So NOTHING I choose to wear will change that fact so I may as well wear whatever the hell I want.
You do you, my lovelies. Just wear it with a smile.
Some other bloggers taking part you should check out: